A perfect celebration -- the culmination of years of education

Last night, David and I celebrated our 14th anniversary (which was actually June 1). The fact that this may seem quite unremarkable to many readers is, in itself, a small miracle.

Let me unpeel the layers a bit. We'll start in the early 1970's, when gay people were generally considered depraved, sick, immoral, and undesirable people by all religious groups. The best one could hope for might be condescending pity. Gay and lesbian people at that time were usually deep in the closet, for obvious reasons. Those that weren't were hardly inclined to attend the religious institutions of any religion. In a way, David and I represent these 2 groups. He was very out at that time, and I was very deep in the closet.

A few from Christian backgrounds who did not want to abandon faith completely had formed their own denomination, the Metropolitan Community Churches. In 1972, with some help from MCC, the world's first GLBT synagogue, Beth Chayim Chadashim, was formed in Los Angeles. After some controversy, BCC was accepted as a member congregation in the Reform movement of Judaism. More GLBT synagogues followed. Much hard work was done by these pioneers, gradually opening the Reform movement to greater acceptance of queer people in all aspects of community life. We're proud to say that we were members of BCC until we moved to Israel!

Fast forward to 2010, in Nahariya, a lovely but hardly central and perhaps somewhat provincial city on the Mediterranean Sea, in northwestern Israel. David and I had talked to our rabbi, Israel Horovitz, some weeks before, letting him know that we wanted to celebrate our 14th anniversary with our congregation, and showing him our wedding pictures.

Last night was the big night, and it could hardly have been better. At the point during (or really mostly AFTER) the prayers, at which celebrations and announcements are done. Rabbi asked us to stand. He then gave a short speech in Hebrew and Spanish (the majority of the congregants, including rabbi himself, are from South America). I think I picked up most of the Hebrew. These were his main points. He told the people that David and I had decided to form a family (a powerful concept here in Israel!) 14 years ago. He said that we were an example for the congregation. And he urged us to continue our path.

Everyone congratulated us afterwards, including visitors (who were dear friends of the rabbi and his wife). I detected not one iota of animosity or avoidance whatsoever. People there were truly happy for us, and expressed their love and affection for us openly. We could not have felt more supported!

After the kiddush (wine, bread, and refreshments following the prayers), our friends Egonne and Yehudit (a couple, and the only other non-straight people in the congregation) had invited us to their house and told us that we could invite several others among our closest friends. In all, there were 9 of us, ranging from a straight couple in their late 30's or early 40's to a survivor of Auschwitz who is in her mid-80's. It was one of the best parties I've ever been to, with delicious food and lively and fun conversation! Thanks, Egonne and Yehudit!

Now, take a deep breath, and try to tie this all together. Could the people nearly 40 years ago have ever imagined such a possibility: a gay couple being honored by a mainline congregation in a small city on the fringes of Israel?

They say that the personal is political, and this story could hardly illustrate it better. And there's yet one more point that must be made. Many on the left of the political spectrum have expressed solidarity with the enemies of Israel and have been very quick to villify the world's only Jewish country. I'd like to remind all of you about the state of our GLBT sisters and brothers in the rest of the Middle East, including all of the countries that our trying to destroy Israel and, especially, in the areas controlled by the Palestinian Authority and Hamas. These unfortunate folks are in an even worse situation than the gays in the U.S. were in in the 1970's. These people are in constant and real danger of being murdered, not only by their governments, but even by their own families. Many have actually fled (or attempted to flee) to Israel, the great enemy according to all that they have been taught, rather than face death in their own communities.

The same governments and other entities (such as the PA and Hamas) who are trying to destroy Israel are the very ones who also actively promote this extreme persecution of gays and lesbians. They are NOT friends of the queer community in any sense and certainly deserve no support whatsoever from the GLBT community. Please remember this!

For more information, check out this link:

http://www.gaymiddleeast.com/